Skull Screw Up: A Halloween Helper's Cozy Mystery Read online

  It had seemed like a case where she and Diggy could show up, search around in a few closets and find the skull tucked behind a few old shoe boxes or something. This was becoming much more of a fiasco.

  "Before we start our search, I'd like to ask just a few questions," Vinnie said. "The first is how do you know that the skull is still in the building?"

  Bram opened his mouth, but Tucker piped up before his brother got a chance to answer, causing Bram to throw a glare in his direction that Tucker ignored.

  "It is magically tied to the house," Tucker said.

  "How?" Vinnie asked.

  The vampires all looked around at each other, exchanging confused glances and shifty eyes.

  "We don't know," Francine said. "Isn't that your job to know? You're the witch after all."

  Oh yeah, that made a lot of sense. Unlike the last case where the coven witches could tell immediately that Vinnie was a non-magical witch, the vampires didn't have the same ability to sense that. She would have to play it cool so that she didn't let on.

  "Yes, I know," Vinnie said. "But I was wondering about the specifics of this house and this skull. That leads me to my next question: what does the skull look like?"

  "Oh, we have a picture of it," Tucker said. "Follow me."

  Vinnie and Diggy followed Tucker through the entrance and down a hallway until he pushed open a set of double doors that opened into a library. It was very old-fashioned, like the kind of library smoking room from an old castle. A fireplace at the opposite end drew Vinnie's attention.

  "There it is," Tucker said, gesturing towards the fireplace. "Don't let the rest of the painting distract you."

  Hanging above the fireplace was a gigantic painting, framed with an expensive looking gold frame. The painting was of Bram dressed in an old fashioned suit which made Vinnie wonder if it had been painted centuries ago. In his hand, he was holding a human skull that had been decorated with large, red gemstones.

  Diggy stood studying the painting, her mouth agape like she was trying to dissect it. Tucker walked to the bookshelf and took a couple of the books out, handing one to Diggy and one to Vinnie. Vinnie stared down at it, wondering what Bugs of North America had to do with the missing skull.

  "Look inside," Tucker said with a smirk. He held up another volume and flipped through it. "All of the pages are blank. This whole room is just for show."

  Vinnie looked down at the book in her hands. As she flipped through the pages, they were indeed all blank. What in the world kind of library was this? And why was Tucker showing her this? Vinnie looked at Diggy, who appeared to be just as confused as she was.

  "Oh, he doesn't buy books because he likes to read or he collects them or anything," Tucker said. "He buys books just because he wanted to make it look like he was very intellectual. Did it work?"

  His face was twisted into a sneer and his eyes were dancing. He was enjoying cutting his brother down to size. Bram on the other hand was attempting to take the high road and was standing stoically in the doorway, all of the rest of the vampires behind him, looking back and forth between the brothers. Bram's face was serious, like he was noting all of this down to talk to Tucker about later.

  Silence filled the room as Vinnie tried to figure out what exactly was going on. It didn't take a rocket scientist to be able to sense all of the tension between the vampires, but this seemed to be an unnecessary show. Tension filled the air and Vinnie's mind started to whir into action, trying to figure out how to take control back as the Halloween Helper.

  "Umm, okay we are here about the skull though," Diggy said. She shoved the book back at Tucker and Vinnie followed suit, grateful for her niece. "So if you could just tell us anything we should know before we start searching for it."

  "What else do you need to know?" Bram sneered. "It's a skull with jewels and it looks like that. Now find it."

  Vinnie could see why the leader of this group was not well respected. Something about the interactions they'd seen so far told her that this case was a lot more than just a missing skull. This was not just that the skull had been misplaced. Vinnie wasn't sure, but it seemed like someone had probably stolen it.

  Chapter Three

  As it turned out, the house the vampires all lived together in was even bigger than Vinnie had expected. Each vampire was afforded their own apartment in the house, not just a room. That meant that it almost seemed like more of a luxury hotel except all of the glass was treated so that UV rays couldn't come through to burn them up and there was no room service. It wouldn't be good if the mortals of the area showed up to be employed in the kitchen only to find out they were feeding vampires.

  These vampires didn't bite humans, however. Over time, vampires had been able to set up a system that would take a vampire and wean them onto animal meat instead of humans.

  As they searched his apartment, Wayne had regaled her with the somewhat fascinating history of vampires and their change from creepy creatures of the night to misunderstood former mortals who longed for a normal life. Vinnie got the idea that Wayne didn't have a lot of friends, so the strange man was glad to have someone who would listen to him chatter away.

  Wayne's apartment looked like a regular, mortal bachelor pad. The living room area had a large sectional sofa and Vinnie was actually a little surprised that it was there. For some reason, she had expected a futon. There was a large pile of dirty clothing in one corner of the bedroom that Vinnie searched by simply looking at it from across the room instead of trying to paw through it. It looked like Wayne needed to catch up on his household chores. Thankfully, Wayne didn't have much to search through so Vinnie was able to cut the history lesson short and move on.

  Tucker's apartment was next and in direct contrast to Wayne's apartment. He was also a bachelor, but instead of reveling in the comfortable, informal decorating style of Wayne, he seemed to prefer the sleek, minimalist look. His living room had two chairs that only looked halfway comfortable. There was not one knick-knack in the entire apartment which made Vinnie a little sad. She hadn't been expecting ceramic animal figurines, but she thought there should be a little bit of decoration somewhere.

  As she searched, Tucker sat in one of the chairs in the living room and watched her. Vinnie felt a little uncomfortable, but she couldn't figure out why. It felt weird to be working while someone just watched passively without offering help. Once again, it was an easy spot to search because there wasn't much there to search.

  Vinnie moved on to Francine's apartment. If Vinnie had to nail down a style for this one, it would be old Hollywood. The walls were covered in heavy, maroon drapings with gold tassels that looked like they had been stolen from an old movie theater. All of the furniture was big and dramatic, like the fainting sofa covered in green velvet fabric and the overstuffed loveseat that had so many sumptuous pillows artfully arranged on it that Vinnie briefly considered it may be an art installation instead of seating because she couldn't figure out how someone could sit down without spending ten minutes emptying it of pillows.

  As Vinnie searched, Francine lounged on the fainting couch with a martini in one hand. Vinnie wondered if the beautiful woman knew that she was more like a caricature than an actual person, although she was a vampire person which already set her apart. Francine chattered on about fashion and being a vampire and interior design, the flow of words coming steadily from her mouth in a comfortable way like she was okay with talking with almost anyone.

  This room took longer to check because everywhere Vinnie looked, there was stuff. Mostly the room was filled with fluffy pillows and large, dramatic plants. It honestly would not have been a surprise to find a full-size oak tree or something growing through the middle of one of the rooms. But even after a thorough search of every inch of the room, there was no skull there either.

  Vinnie and Diggy met back up in the entrance hall. Between the two of them, they had checked all of the private apartments in the place. Now they just had the public rooms, like the library with blank books
and the entrance hall.

  "What's that room?" Vinnie asked, pointing towards a door on the first level, just off of the entrance hall.

  It was a large, ornate wooden door that looked heavy. The molding around the door was carved with swirls and what appeared to be writing, although Vinnie couldn't quite tell what it said.

  "That is the ceremony room," Francine said as she swirled her glass around. The liquid came so close to the top that Vinnie couldn't help but wince a little. "We use our little lost skull in there. That's how we stay so young and beautiful."

  Francine put on a stage whisper for the last part, winking at Vinnie and Diggy as she spoke. Bram and Tucker both scowled at her, as if it were some sort of a secret. Everyone knew that vampires did something to stay so youthful, but whatever it was happened to be a closely guarded secret to all of the vampires, except Francine apparently.

  "Oh don't frown at me like that," Francine said. "She should know what we do with it. Besides, it's just hidden somewhere, isn't it Bram? I hope you show it to us soon or I might have to make you show it to us."

  Tucker opened the door and held it open as he gestured for the Halloween Helpers to come inside but before they could take a step, Bram stepped in front of them.

  "Hold on, I'll just need you to assure me that what we are telling you will stay a secret," Bram said. "Only vampires are supposed to know this information."

  "I assure you that as Halloween Helpers we are total professionals," Vinnie said. "We would never break your confidence and reveal the secrets of your kind."

  Bram studied her, his eyes flicking around as he decided whether he trusted her or not. After a moment, he stepped aside and let the women pass, but he stayed close behind them as they entered the ceremony room.

  The room was surprisingly plain, with no furniture except for a sort of shelf that was at the front of the room. It almost seemed like an altar, but not quite as sacred. A few small spotlights shone on the shelf, but one of the splashes of light was empty. Obviously that was where the skull was supposed to sit. The entire rest of the room was dark, almost pitch black. So while there was obviously nothing else big in the room, for all Vinnie knew, someone may have stashed the skull in the corner. Before she could look, though, Tucker started to speak.

  "Usually we come in once a month, all of us, and we do the ceremony to use the skull to keep us young and immortal," Tucker said casually, as if it were super obvious. "I'm not going to go into details about the ceremony as I believe it is the one thing that gives us a slight advantage over all of you witches, but suffice to say it is an important ceremony for our kind."

  Vinnie wondered if he meant that as a dig towards her and Diggy, but instead decided to let it just roll off her back. She was here on business and honestly she did not care what Tucker the handsome vampire thought of her.

  "Is there any sort of security that would help keep the skull in this room?" Vinnie asked.

  Bram gave her a blank look, searching her as he tried to decide what to say.

  "If it were still in the room, we would know where it was and we wouldn't have called you," Bram said slowly, as if he thought she might be stupid.

  That wasn't quite what Vinnie meant, but she had to admit that her question had sounded kind of stupid. So she tried to think of another way to ask it.

  "I think what my aunt meant was did you have any measures in place, no matter if they worked or not," Diggy said. "Like in the mortal world they might have security cameras or motion sensors."

  "We have none of those silly James Bond style theatrics," Bram said. "Most people don't want to come to a house full of vampires, so security wasn't really a high priority."

  "Does that mean you don't think it was someone from the outside?" Vinnie asked. "Was it an inside job?"

  Bram exhaled loudly, rolling his eyes at her. This man was insufferable. Vinnie knew that in her role as Halloween Helper, she was supposed to help everyone. She was helping Bram, but she really did not want to.

  "Obviously one of us took it, but the question is who?" Bram said. "That's why you're here."

  "Well you said that the skull was missing, not stolen," Diggy pointed out. "I think that was a perfectly legitimate question."

  "Have you seen enough of the ceremony room?" Bram said, ignoring Diggy. "We generally don't like to have outsiders in here and I'd like you to take leave of this place."

  Vinnie and Diggy exchanged glances. This vampire really thought he was hot stuff and it was making this assignment harder than it had to be. Vinnie hoped they could find the skull soon so that they wouldn't have to deal with Bram anymore.

  "I think Diggy and I would like to do a little looking around on our own," Vinnie announced. "If we could kindly ask you all to wait in the library while we do a little more investigating, we will come to get you as soon as we are able."

  The vampires grumbled and groaned, but all of them headed towards the library. Wayne led the way with a swish of his cape. Everyone followed, a few while rolling their eyes. Everyone except Bram, that was. Instead, Bram waited until everyone else had left and then he followed the witches into the entrance hall. He stuck his finger up into their face and left them with a warning.

  "I'm getting the feeling that you are all inexperienced and unprofessional," Bram said. "So I'm going to warn you: If you do not find the skull, I will be having a word with your boss and you will be fired."

  With that, Bram turned on his heel and stalked off towards the library. Once the door slammed shut, echoing through the house, Diggy turned to Vinnie.

  "How mad do you think he'll be when he finds out that we can't be fired from this job because we inherited it?" Diggy said with a twinkle in her eye.

  Vinnie snickered, giving a Diggy a playful admonishment about being professional with their clients, but she only managed to say it after she finished laughing.

  The next step was to re-check all of the areas. With the vampires around, it had been hard to do a thorough search. It was uncomfortable to dig through someone's things when they were sitting right there watching, no matter how respectful the search was.

  Together, Diggy and Vinnie walked through all of the apartments. They spent an hour re-looking and still came up empty-handed. At this point, they had been at the vampire house all day and it was almost dinnertime. Vinnie wasn't sure if this was a case where they should keep searching or come back in the morning.

  Diggy's rumbling stomach answered that and the witches decided to look once more in the ceremony room before heading home for dinner. The searching would have to continue tomorrow.

  Chapter Four

  Once Vinnie and Diggy got to the entrance hall, there was an overwhelming feeling that they had to be as quiet and secretive as they could. After all, vampires have superhuman hearing and Vinnie did not want to deal with an upset vampire who found out that they had sneaked back into the ceremony room. She was pretty sure the vampires wouldn't bite her, but she didn't really want to test that theory, although it did prove to be an interesting query. What would happen to a witch who was bitten by a vampire? Was there such a thing as a vampire witch? What if the witch wasn't magical?

  Vinnie mulled it over until she realized that Diggy was staring at her and she wondered how long she had been pondering that ridiculous question. She shook her head, hoping to shake the question to the back of her mind so that it would reappear some night when she couldn't sleep instead.

  "Shall we?" she said, a little too breezily.

  "Umm sure," Diggy said.

  Diggy was generally a very agreeable teenager, but right now she had a look on her face that told Vinnie that she was not going to hide the fact that she was openly judging Vinnie. Vinnie ignored it and pressed on, moving towards the large ornate door.

  "Do you think one of us should be the lookout?" Diggy asked. "I could stand out here and distract them if anyone comes over. I may or may not have a lot of questions about being a vampire and what it's like. I need it for the book I'm working on.
"

  Diggy's main hobby was writing paranormal romance which neither Vinnie nor Lavender totally understood, but she appeared to be a very good writer. Mostly, the twin witches were just glad that her hobby was something productive and not the social media stuff that the mortal teenagers tended to get into.

  "That's a good idea," Vinnie said. "Why don't you stand guard and I'll sneak in to take a look around. I just wish I had a flashlight to see better. It is so dark in there that I'm not sure I'll get a better look this time or not."

  "Oh, you mean a flashlight like this?" Diggy asked.

  She pulled her knapsack around to the front and produced a heavy, metal flashlight out of it. Handing it to Vinnie, she clicked the rubber button which produced a powerful light beam. This would help Vinnie explore the room in just a few seconds.

  "Wow, this will work great!" Vinnie said. "But what are you going to do to warn me if someone is coming?"

  Diggy thought for a moment before her face lit up. She started to laugh, first just a giggle as she mulled over her idea and then it turned into a full-fledge laugh. Diggy doubled over, clutching her stomach as Vinnie frantically shushed her. If any of the vampires came out right now, they would definitely blow their professional cover.

  "What is so funny?" Vinnie finally asked once Diggy seemed like she had recovered.

  "The signal if someone is coming is that I'll loudly announce 'Oh good, a real live vampire. I hope you'll answer some questions so that I can improve my paranormal romance story,'" Diggy said, still smirking. "That should scare them away back to the library and if somehow they are agreeable to it, I'll lead them away long enough for you to sneak out of there."

  Vinnie had to admit that it was a good idea and way more creative than what Vinnie had thought of. She was going to suggest the cliche whistle signal, which would be way more out of place and not nearly as fun.