Making a List, Fixing It Nice Read online

  “It’s just a busy time of year,” Leon said. “I’m working as fast as I can and there’s a lot to do, you know, with the population of the world going up all the time and all that…”

  Leon blustered on, mumbling more about the population of the world as Clarence gave him the stare-down. During crunch time, Clarence had no room for excuses. Cordelia, on the other hand, had more compassion during the busy season. She finally found a way to break in.

  “That’s okay Leon,” Cordelia said. “Perhaps we could just take a look and make sure everything is in order with the list? Then we can determine how long you will need to make the final copy before Santa comes to check it.”

  Leon’s face went white. He seemed to be having a hard time, but Cordelia could tell there was something more than just the hard work of compiling the List that was causing him trouble. She just didn't know what that something more was, but she was determined to get to the end of it.

  “You want to see the list?” Leon asked. “Right now?”

  “Of course, you know I have to do that before I set up Santa’s checking it twice appointment,” Cordelia said. She tried to speak as gently, but firmly as she could. She wanted to be nice, but she couldn't afford to be pushed around. “If you could open it up so we could page through, I would appreciate it.”

  Cordelia smiled her warmest smile, but internally she was running through her to-do list to determine what might need to be shifted around. The stop by the List Room was only supposed to take a few minutes while they penciled in an appointment. It was already running over the allotted time.

  As if moving in slow-motion, Leon shuffled toward the desk. Clarence started to tap his foot impatiently, harrumphing once again. Cordelia leaned over and nudged him, just enough to remind him that she was technically his boss and she didn’t like his attitude. Clarence glanced at her and raised his eyebrow as if to ask why she wasn’t more concerned about Leon. She tried to telepathically tell him that she was, she just didn’t think slyly berating him was the best way to deal with it.

  Leon slowly opened the all-important list, skipping to the middle of the book. Each page was more than just a page and the one Leon chose unfurled down to the floor as he opened to it. Grabbing a piece of metal that resembled a ruler, Leon laid it underneath a line so that the entire line was underlined by it. The metal was engraved with the words “Merry Christmas” in a fancy script. It was supposed to ensure that no mistakes would happen because the keeper could easily see the child’s name and their naughty or nice status. But right now, it just looked like a bunch of lined-up scribbles.

  Cordelia stepped up to the desk and took the metal ruler, moving it down the line. She tried to read the lines as she went. It was usually pretty easy to determine whether the one side said “naughty” or “nice,” since there were only two options, but trying to read the child’s name was almost impossible. Oddly enough, all of the children that Cordelia saw were on the nice list. It was a bit odd that there were no naughty children in the section Cordelia looked at, but she was pleased that so many children were focused on being nice.

  Taking the ruler off of the book, she tried to fold up the paper, but Cordelia was hopeless at following the ins and outs of folding. Leon stepped up and skillfully folded it, neatly putting it back in the book. He started to shut the cover, but Cordelia stopped him.

  “Hold on, I’d like to start from the beginning,” she said.

  He opened the front cover and stepped back, his eyes darting around the room. Cordelia wanted to see if the problem of messiness had happened at the beginning of the list or if she could pinpoint exactly when it started. But as the first page unfurled, it too was covered with intelligible scribblings.

  Clarence stepped forward, producing a monocle from his pocket. Putting it up to his eye, he bent down, slowly reading the page as it fell down to the floor. Straightening up, he tsked his tongue as he put the monocle away.

  “I’m afraid I don’t understand some of this,” Clarence said. “Maybe I just can’t read these scribblings, but it says here that Jason is on the nice list? Perhaps I’m wrong, but didn’t Jason just yesterday stick bubble gum in his babysitter’s hair? And the reason he was home was that he had been suspended from school for fighting? That doesn’t sound like someone who should be on the nice list.”

  Leon’s mouth dropped open. He tried to shut it a few times, but it just seemed to fall open again each time. He looked like a very surprised fish and for once, Cordelia didn’t find him handsome. But she pushed that thought out of her mind as she stepped forward to inspect the list once more.

  “And here is says that Clara is on the nice list?” Cordelia asked. “That can’t be right. Just two days ago she got in trouble for hitting her sister in the face with a book. Twice."

  Clarence harrumphed again and this time, Cordelia agreed. For a moment, Leon seemed to be frozen. Only his eyes were darting around the room. The weight of the mistake started to fall down upon them. If there were two mistakes on the list, there may be more. There was only a month until Christmas and making the list normally took all year. There wasn’t time to remake the entire list.

  “Those are definitely mistakes,” Leon said. “I don't know how that could have happened. I’m very careful with my work.”

  “It doesn’t appear that way,” Clarence said. He was about to say more, but from the look on his face, Cordelia could tell that it wasn’t going to be good. She jumped in, just in time to cut him off.

  “We just mean that the list seems a bit harder to read than it was in other years,” Cordelia said. “Is there a reason for that?”

  “No, I hadn’t noticed that it was any harder to read,” Leon said. His cheeks started to turn red. “But I am confused by how a few mistakes were made.”

  Clarence took his monocle out once more, this time with a bit more flourish. Putting it up to his eye, he scanned the list. Then he scowled and scanned it once more. Straightening up, he took a deep breath.

  “It appears that the naughty and nice column is wrong. Every single entry says nice and I can see where the trouble started,” Clarence said.

  Pointing to the top of the page, Cordelia and Leon leaned in. Cordelia gasped as she could plainly see that the third line down and every line after it said nice. That meant that the entire list would need to be redone before Christmas Eve.

  Chapter Three

  “Where’s the phone in here?” Clarence asked. “Santa must be alerted to this immediately.”

  Clarence started striding around the room, searching for the phone. Leon tagged along behind him, stumbling around and stammering out parts of words and sentences that didn’t make any sense. Cordelia put her fingers in her mouth and whistled. Both men stopped and stared at her. For a moment, the room was silent except for the sound of Christmas music being piped through the speakers.

  “Good, I have your attention,” Cordelia said. “Under no circumstances will we be telling Santa about this. Perhaps after the fact, but right now we need to focus on figuring out what happened to the list and fixing it. Now Leon, is there anyone else that helps you with the list?”

  “Of course not,” Leon said. “You know that as Keeper of the List, I take my job very seriously. The List is kept under lock and key so that I am the only person who has regular access to it.”

  “Then how were we able to waltz right in here not ten minutes ago?” Clarence asked.

  Cordelia nodded. They had opened the door into the List Room and come in while Leon was out and about. That meant that anyone could have done the same and perhaps one of them had some sort of vendetta against Santa. Nick had been Santa for over a century now and there were starting to be whispers about who would take over when he was done with the job. Cordelia hated that sort of talk. Even though Nick looked like big, fat Santa, he was still young and sprightly. He wouldn’t be stepping down voluntarily any time soon. Perhaps that is why someone sabotaged the list.

  “Wait a minute,” Cordelia said. />
  She walked across the room and turned the lock on the door. They didn’t need the news of the bungled list to get out, especially if someone out there was behind it. Cordelia crossed back to the desk and stood behind it, trying not to look at the List. It made her stomach turn to see the scribbled List, knowing that it was all wrong.

  “Here’s the deal,” she said. “The three of us are going to keep this news between us. We are going to figure out who did this and why and we are going to fix it so that no one ever knows.”

  Clarence was shaking his head back and forth, his mouth turned down in a grumpy frown. Leon was nodding vigorously. Cordelia knew that he enjoyed his job and this was the only time he’d been known to ever mess up. Even though this was a doozy of a mess-up, Cordelia was willing to overlook it because she knew how much Leon liked his position.

  “No, no, that will never do,” Clarence said. “Nick must know immediately. This could affect the entire production process at the North Pole. If we don't have an accurate count of nice and naughty children, we will not have an accurate amount and variety of toys for them all. We will be overproducing toys, which would muck up the whole system. This list mess-up could make this year go down as the worst Christmas in history.”

  Leon wailed, throwing his head back as he fell to his knees. Clarence sniffed at the display of emotion, but Cordelia couldn't help but feel bad about what had happened. Of course, it had been Leon’s fault that the door wasn’t locked and someone must have come in. But he obviously felt bad about his role in the mix-up.

  “If Nick finds out, he won’t be able to focus on the more important parts of his job,” Cordelia said. “We can handle this, we just need to figure out who did this and why. That is more important than disrupting the entire North Pole.”

  “I would really appreciate keeping Santa out of this,” Leon said.

  He sniffled as he spoke, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. A few tears sparkled in his eyes, which just made Cordelia's heart go out to him even more.

  “Technically, I have to do what Mrs. Claus says,” Clarence said. “As long as you both understand that I do not agree with this plan at all. In fact, I am totally opposed to it.”

  Cordelia resisted the urge to call Clarence a fuddy-duddy and instead rolled her eyes at him. This was his hard outer shell that most people assumed was what Clarence was like all the time. But he was really more of a teddy bear, he just didn't let most people see that.

  “Now, I have a feeling that someone did this on purpose,” Cordelia said. “The past few years, there have been whispers around that Nick is getting stale and that someone else should take over soon.”

  “They only say that because you keep taking all of his responsibilities away from him,” Clarence said. “It makes it seem like he’s incompetent.”

  Cordelia glared at Clarence, who matched her stare with his own. They stood in a staredown for a moment, the room turning a bit icy before Cordelia broke away and looked back at Leon. The handsome elf was wringing his hands, staring back and forth between Clarence and Cordelia.

  “No matter, it comes down to the fact that someone wanted Nick out and they found the door to the List Room open one day,” Cordelia said. “All they needed was a moment to mess up Christmas for everyone.”

  “Which is why we need to tell Santa,” Clarence said. “We have a full schedule as it is. You know that, we were just discussing it.”

  Cordelia stamped her foot and crossed her arms. She knew it was childish, but darn if Clarence was refusing to listen. He could be so stubborn sometimes, which only served to make Cordelia dig her heels in more. There had been an entire decade when their friendship had been on the outs because they had an argument over the ratio of how many presents per child should have a bow versus no bow. Cordelia thought they should add a bow to every wrapped present, but Clarence had been adamant on one bow per child. As it turned out, they were both wrong and the argument had been put to rest with a firm 50-50 ratio of bow to no bow. And their decade of icy non-friendship had been a ridiculous story they laughed about now.

  “Cordelia, I just don’t want the North Pole to fall apart because you decided you had to take this on yourself,” Clarence said.

  “The North Pole might fall apart if we tell everyone that the List isn’t ready yet,” Cordelia said. “Whoever did this could use it as an example of why Nick should be out of the Santa position.”

  Cordelia put her hands on her hips. Everything she did was to help Nick with his job as Santa. She took on all of the loose ends to make sure that he succeeded and she took pride in that. She loved that Nick was able to bring joy to all the children of the world and that he could do it without worry about whether he had polished his boots. She was not going to let this take down their entire position as Santa and Mrs. Claus.

  “If I may cut in for a moment?” Leon asked.

  Cordelia and Clarence’s heads snapped to look at the elf. He was still wringing his hands, his shoulders sagging low. He seemed to have shrunk, looking up at them like a naughty child. Of course, being the elf that tracked the nice and naughty children, he would know full-well how a naughty child acted.

  “Since I was the one who caused this mess with my lackadaisical attitude, I’d like to repent by finding who did this to the list,” Leon said.

  “That is a very nice gesture, but I think your services will be required to fix the list,” Cordelia said. “Leave the investigating to me and Clarence.”

  She glanced at Clarence’s face. His nose was wrinkled up in disgust.

  “Or maybe leave the investigating just to me,” Cordelia said. “And Clarence here can work on managing my schedule and agenda to work around it.”

  “Oh goodie, just what I need during crunch time. Another challenge,” Clarence said.

  Cordelia was about to snap at him, but she stopped herself just in time. She needed his help. If Clarence didn't do everything he could to help her, things would fall through the cracks and whoever had sabotaged Santa’s list would have some real problems to point to.

  “I’m sorry Clarence, I really am,” Cordelia said. “This may be the biggest thing I’ve ever asked you to do for me. But you know I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t something I really thought we needed to do.”

  Clarence looked at Cordelia and nodded just one curt nod. But it was enough to tell Cordelia that the Head Elf was on board, no matter how much he disagreed with her. They would be friends through thick and thin. They had a century’s worth of friendship to show for that.

  “There are a few things that need to be done now,” Clarence said. “I’ll try to go handle them while you and Leon stay here to investigate. Lock the door behind me so that no one else can come in and discover this mess.”

  Cordelia’s face broke into a grateful smile. She really didn't know what she would do without Clarence. Together, they made sure the North Pole ran smoothly. He might be annoyed with her, but he would still help her

  Clarence left the List Room, making sure to shut the door behind him. Leon turned the deadbolt, making sure that no one could surprise them while they tried to figure out what had caused this mess in the first place. His face was still pale and his eyes made it seem like his mind was somewhere else, like it was trying to figure out whether Leon was just living in a terrible nightmare.

  Cordelia understood and she wanted to comfort him, but right now they needed to be searching for clues. The faster they could solve this, the faster they could get Christmas back on track.

  Chapter Four

  Cordelia turned and surveyed the List Room. The walls were covered with shelves of leather-bound books, one for each year that the List had been in existence. The big desk in the middle still had this year’s List open on top, spilling down onto the floor. Leon had collapsed down into the big leather chair that sat behind the desk, his eyes blinking slowly as his chest rose and fell with his breath. Cordelia had a feeling that he wouldn’t be of much help, at least not for a while. Leon seemed to b
e in shock.

  For holding thousands of previous Lists, the room actually seemed quite small. Cordelia hoped that meant there wouldn't be much to investigate. She decided to look at the desk first. Obviously, whoever came in to sabotage the List had been at the desk. Annoyingly, that also meant that evidence had probably been disturbed before they even knew there was a problem.

  Cordelia walked closer, trying to inspect the desk closely. She tried once again to fold up the List so that she could close the book, but she was hopeless at it. Leon leaned forward and skillfully folded it back and forth until it was all folded up into the book, shutting the front cover.

  “Thank you, I’m not sure why that is such a challenge for me,” Cordelia said.

  “It is meant to be sort of a challenge,” Leon said. “It’s job security for me.”

  He managed a weak smile at his own joke and Cordelia smiled back, trying to put the poor elf at ease. It worked a little bit, the tension in the air cut down considerably. It was hard to be mad at the North Pole, especially with Christmas songs playing in the background all the time.

  Cordelia went back to investigating the desk. It was a bit untidy for such a prestigious job. It seemed a bit out of character for Leon. She wracked her brain, trying to think back to other years when she was in the List Room to check the List. She came every year to set up the appointment and make sure that Leon was ready, but for some reason, she couldn't really remember how tidy the List Room normally was.

  “Leon, it seems a bit disorganized in here,” Cordelia said.

  Leon sat up and started tidying piles of papers and shoving pencils back into the pencil cup.

  “Oh no no, that’s alright,” Cordelia said. “I didn’t mean it as a bad thing. I just don’t remember it being like this in other years. Perhaps this year you forgot to tidy before we came in?”

  Cordelia glanced around the room, almost hoping to see cobwebs in the corner or some dust on the shelf. Anything that would explain the messy desk. She needed to figure out what were potential clues and what was just evidence of Leon’s messy nature.